Lord of Illusions (1995)

I've been into magic and illusions since I was a kid. The mix of sleight of hand, misdirection, and the hint of the supernatural fascinates me. Browsing through Netflix instant I came across a Clive Barker film about a cult of illusionists that I thought would be right up my alley. But I prefer European alleys lined with cobblestone, not stinky New York alleys with bums pissing on the wall and garbage can bonfires.

Clive Barker did Hellraiser based on one of his books and that's one hell of a horror film. Lord of Illusions is another Barker book turned into a Barker film, but it's convinced me that he's a one hit wonder when it comes to the big screen.

It's about a master illusionist, Nix, who is killed by a few mutinous members who, 13 years later, must kill him again after he's been resurrected. Nix calls himself "The Puritan" and thinks he was born to bring about the destruction of the world. Man, what a party pooper. Scott Bakula plays a detective who's sent out on a job but gets pulled into this magical mayhem. He meets and falls in love with Famke Janssen, and it's these two that made the movie worth suffering through. Barely. Anyone who knows me knows I'll watch anything with Famke, but even this was difficult because Barker insists on making her look as undesirable as possible. Nice try, dude, but she's still smokin'.

Lord of Illusions is a right mess with gigantic holes in the story and inexplicable character decisions. Example: Scott Bakula sneaks into a library through a sun roof but then fires his gun three times at a projector in the wall, then casually walks out. Way to go buddy, you just won Detective of the Year with that one.

I can't recommend this movie unless you're just crazy about Clive Barker stuff, in which case I seriously question your sanity.