Waxwork (1988)

After some rather depressing movies I admit I was in the mood for something light-hearted and fun. I landed on Waxwork after watching the trailer and realizing I had seen this as a kid. What could be better than horror-comedy with a touch of nostalgia?

Anything. Anything at all would have been better.

Don't get me wrong… I love cheesy 80s movies, and if you've seen Peter Jackson's Dead Alive, filmed just 4 years later, you know horror and comedy can go together perfectly if done correctly. But nothing in this movie is done correctly.

The story's unique premise is also the problem. A group of teens go check out a new wax museum that has mysteriously opened in their neighborhood, only to find themselves getting sucked into the exhibits and having to act out whatever scene or situation it depicts. You've got your werewolf scene, your vampire scene, even your Marquis de Sade scene. Sound like an awful farrago? It is, and by the end it all dissolves into what one of my friends likes to call "a hot mess." The inexplicable climax comes when the two main characters find themselves in an expert fencing match, by which point my mouth was hanging open and my eyes glazed over. Not even David Warner, one of the best character actors ever, can do anything to fix all this.

In order to make it through the entire 97 minutes I had to shift my perspective. I imagined myself in the late 20s/early 30s where film is still a brand new medium. I like to go see The Jazz Singer or The Mummy on the silver screen. Then I imagine what it would be like to watch Waxwork, as maybe some psychic glimpse of the future. I would be amazed, but it would also make perfect sense. The acting, the rubbery story, the haphazard editing… these are all things I would be familiar with and would enjoy.

It's just too bad Waxwork wasn't made 60 years earlier.