The Human Centipede (2009)

Here's a film whose name and story precede itself, daring you to watch it yourself without losing your dinner. By now you've surely heard the premise: a German doctor makes a human centipede, sewing the anus and mouth of three unsuspecting victims together. Gross, right? After years of hearing about it, I wasn't sure if it would be nearly as disgusting as the images that had formed in my mind or live up to the hype that had surrounded it. And it didn't… not quite.

The Human Centipede opens with two American tourists who get get a flat on the way to a party. They're in the middle of nowhere and decide to hoof it to find help. Inexplicably they take off through the woods instead of down the road. It's at this point that I nearly give up hope for the rest of the movie. What sort of dingbats think wandering through the German woods in the middle of the night is a good idea? It's not until a bit later that I realize the director is perfectly aware of the absurdity of the situation and is merely using the opening scene as a vehicle to get the characters into the doctor's house. "Yes," he seems to be saying. "This makes no sense, but you're about to see why I'm doing it."

It's here that the real story begins and for me the surprise is how immersive Dieter Laser is as Dr. Heiter, a retired surgeon who specialized in siamese separation. Laser is completely on point and draws you in to the mind of a psychopath in a way that reminded me of Sir Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. Calm, calculated, brilliant, and completely insane. I was more engrossed in his character than I was the gruesome story, and for that I could watch this movie again and be equally entertained.

There are definitely some stomach-churning scenes that would make plenty of people give up right then and there. But what impressed me was how expertly the director handled the main character and how solid the pacing was from scene to scene.

So no, The Human Centipede was not as disgusting or gory as I had been led to believe, but better: it was, as a whole, a finely constructed movie that told its story perfectly.