The Sentinel (1977)

I started watching horror films way earlier than anyone would consider normal or healthy. I was probably 5 or 6 when I first saw Nightmare on Elm Street and the tapestry of thrills and chills was very much a part of my childhood. But the stories that had the most impact on me were those based in theology such as The Exorcist, The Omen, and Rosemary's Baby, partly because they seemed so much more rooted in reality than your typical creature feature.

The Sentinel has been on my radar since a friend recommended it to me in film school — nearly 10 years ago. I'm really glad I don't remember who gave the recommendation because I'd feel awkward letting them know what I thought.

Cristina Raines plays a fashion model in New York City who moves into a brownstone in an attempt to gain some independence from her lawyer lover. Except the first floor holds a gateway to hell. Thank God for rent control! Never fear… the Catholic church has posted a guard to watch over the property, but they put this old blind geezer on the fifth floor, facing OUTSIDE instead of downstairs. Double face palm.

The premise sounds like it would be right up my alley, but this is a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be. A festival of gore? Atmospheric euro-horror? Disbelieved female protagonist crime thriller? It seems like every story point is casually thrown away, forgotten in lieu of the next beautifully lit scene. The only consistency is the notion of a Catholic gatekeeper, a plot line that has absolutely no backstory or even a satisfactory resolution.

There are certainly better choices if you're looking for Classic horror. However, might I suggest a viewing paired with a "name the celebrity" drinking game? Somebody has to drink the worm when Tom Berenger shows up — looking remarkably like a modern-day James Franco.